Things I Learned Living in the South

We have this paper that comes out once a month and the whole thing is jokes, its great. Well they had a great one this month and well I thought I would share with you and I hope you get a laugh out of it.

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Oklahoma.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. Ifit grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls It'll bite ya.
5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6. It is not a shopping car its a buggy. (And people have asked if I wanted a buggy and I had no idea what they were talking about at first)
7. "Jaw-P" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?"
8. People actually grow and eat Okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word. Example "I'm Fixinto go to the lake."
10. There is no such thing as Lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The work "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did ya eat."
14. You don't have to wear a watch, becaue it doesn't matter what time it is, you work unil youi're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't push buttons. you MASH EM.
16. "No, Jew" is a common responce to the question "Did you bring any beer?"
17. You measure distance in minuets.
18. you switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. you know what a "DAWG" is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
22. You only own fice spices: Salt, Pepper,, Head counry , Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for ocal gossip and motorsports.
24. you think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.
26. you know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still sumer and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a faborite past time know as Goin Wal-martin' or Off to Wally-World.
28. You describe the first cool snap ( below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
29. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
30. We Don't need no dange drivers ed. If our mama says we can drive then we can... besides that, we've been driving since the age of 8.

I hope you all enjoy and if I find any other good ones i'll post them!!!